Title The STOP Domestic Violence Program, Revised & Updated 4/e
Subtitle Group Leader’s Manual (Innovative Skills Techniques Option and Plans for Better Relationship)
Author David B. Wexler
ISBN 9780393714470
List price USD 35.00
Price outside India Available on Request
Original price
Binding Paperback
No of pages 272
Book size 203 X 254 mm
Publishing year 2020
Original publisher W. W. Norton & Company
Published in India by .
Exclusive distributors Viva Books Private Limited
Sales territory India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Nepal, .
Status New Arrival
About the book Send Enquiry


An update to this best-selling treatment program for domestic violence abusers.

The bold interventions from STOP have now been field-tested for more than thirty years among military and civilian populations—and STOP has now treated more than 50,000 domestic violence offenders. David Wexler’s program offers therapists, social workers, and other counselors a new level of sound, psychologically based interventions that reach the very men who often seem so unapproachable in a treatment setting.

Treatment providers will find new sessions—based on the latest evidence-supported strategies—on insecure attachment issues, stages of change, groundbreaking results from the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study, normative male alexithymia, stake in conformity issues, substance abuse issues, and more. This new edition integrates twenty- four field- tested video clips to dramatically illustrate key issues for the group.

Presented in a 26- or 52-week psychoeducational format, STOP is packed with updated skills, exercises, videos, handouts, and homework assignments that challenge men to examine themselves and develop new tools to manage their relationship issues.


Introduction and Acknowledgment: Fourth Edition


Part I: Foundations

Program Notes • Rules of Engagement • STOP Program Video Information • Typologies of Domestic Violence Offenders • The Context of Competence • Pacing and Leading • Provisional Status Policy (Group Leaders’ Version) • Shame-o-Phobia: Why Men Fear Therapy • Approaching the Unapproachable—Therapist Self-Disclosure to De-Shame Male Clients • What Men Want From DV Groups


Part II: Orientation Information

The STOP Program Q&A • Typical Questions and Concerns • Provisional Status Policy (Group Members’ Version) • The 15 Commandments of STOP • Gratitudes • Mindfulness in Everyday Life • Feelings Count


Part III: New Member Sessions

House of Abuse • Time-Out • Time-Out Information for Partners • When Your Partner Blocks Your Path


Part IV: Core Curriculum


SESSION 1 THE RED FLAGS OF ANGER & ABUSE • The Cycle of Abuse • The Red Flags of Anger • Video: It’s Just A Choice #4 • Video: It’s Just A Choice #3 • The Four-Square Technique • Red Flags Chart

SESSION 2 ANATOMY OF POWER & CONTROL • Power & Control Wheel • Video: The Stoning of Soraya M. • Threats & Intimidation



SESSION 3 SELF-TALK AND PERSONAL STORIES • Bad Rap Worksheet • Bad Rap • Bad Rap Quiz • Examples of Anger-Producing Self-Talk

SESSION 4 MASCULINITY TRAPS • Video: The Mask You Live In • Men Are Supposed To... • Video: It’s Just A Choice #5 • Masculinity Traps

SESSION 5 MASCULINITY TRAPS: FATHERS & GOOD MEN • Video: The Great Santini • Video: Boyz ’N the Hood • Guidelines for Good Men

SESSION 6 JEALOUSY & MISINTERPRETATIONS • Jealousy • Misinterpretations • Video: It’s Just A Choice #7 • Video: It’s Just A Choice #2

SESSION 7 NORMATIVE MALE ALEXITHYMIA • Normative Male Alexithymia • Anger Is A Secondary Emotion • Video: Men’s Work




SESSION 9 PUT-DOWNS FROM PARENTS • Video: The Great Santini • Video: Boyz ’N the Hood • Put-downs from Parents

SESSION 10 SHAME-O-PHOBIA • Video: Good Will Hunting • The Male Shame Manifesto

SESSION 11 THE BROKEN MIRROR • Video: Affliction • The Broken Mirror Sequence • Relational Heroism

SESSION 12 WHAT’S YOUR ACE SCORE? • Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Info • What’s My ACE Score? • ACE RESILIENCE Questionnaire



SESSION 13 ASSERTIVENESS & ASKING FOR CHANGE • Assertiveness • What Is Assertive Behavior? • Asking for Change

SESSION 14 EMPATHY & ACTIVE LISTENING • Expressing Your Feelings • Active Listening • Video: Modern Family

SESSION 15 THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES • The Five Love Languages • Video: The Break-Up


SESSION 17 FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE • Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse • Video: Just A Choice #6A • Video: Just A Choice #6B • Emotional Abuse & Mind Games • Conflict with Respect • Relationship Respect Contract • Which Attachment Style Am I?

SESSION 18 YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE • Video: In Treatment • Can I Count on You? • Effective Communication

SESSION 19 APOLOGIES • The Art of Apologies • Classic Apology Mistakes • Handling Criticism: Nondefensive Listening

SESSION 20 WHAT’S UP WITH SEX? • Sexual Abuse: Psychological & Physical • Masculinity Traps: Sex • About Sex

SESSION 21 KIDS WHO WITNESS • Video: First Impressions: Exposure to Violence and a Child’s Developing Brain • Video: The Great Santini • Questions for Kids



SESSION 22 ACCOUNTABILITY & THE WAY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE THINK • Accountability Statement • Accountability Defenses • The Way Aggressive People Think • Accountability Checklist

SESSION 23 STAKE IN CONFORMITY: PROTECT WHAT YOU’VE EARNED! • Stake In Conformity: Protect What You’ve Earned! • Screw You! • The MAST Assessment

SESSION 24 SUBSTANCE ABUSE & RELATIONSHIP ABUSE: WHAT’S THE CONNECTION? • I Really Didn’t Mean to Do It... I Was Drunk • Why Do We Care?: The Relationship Between Substance Abuse And Intimate Partner Violence • Safe at Home Questionnaire, Revised

SESSION 25 STAGES OF CHANGE: WHERE ARE YOU AT? • The Five Stages of Change • Making Changes, Pros and Cons

SESSION 26 PREVENTION PLANS • Prevention Plan • Video: The Break-Up

Exit/Relapse Prevention Sessions • Most Violent and/or Most Disturbing Incident • Prevention Plan

Standard Forms • Weekly Check-In • Evaluation Form • Treatment Expectations



About the Author:

David B. Wexler, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and executive director of the nonprofit Relationship Training Institute. He lives in San Diego, California.

Target Audience:

This book is for therapists, social workers, and other counselors dealing with domestic violence abusers.

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